It's impressive but difficult.
I want to move one human across a distance of roughly 4,000 miles in the next year and there seems to be Shitloads (yes, that gets a capital due to the sheer amount of shit) to be checked out, planned, verified, signed, checked again, signed in triplicate with carbon copies and just generally organised.To those who know me: Organisation??? ME???I can barely get myself to work (although I'd like to point out that I'm always on time) without hassle. And that's just on the other side of the wonderful and pretty city of Cork.
God damn if we don't need to bulldoze some shit out of the way though; I'm not talking about park land or the wanton destruction of Ireland's natural beauty. I'm talking about shitty old housing estates and the like. That's for another blog though.I have to tip my hat to Eisenhower. He moved roughly 600,000 American soldiers across the Atlantic to Britain (and Northern Ireland) and they all got there.
However, Ike's boys in the planning office didn't seem to have to (a) contend with airport security (the bane of modern living) or indeed have only imaginary money to play with.I have lots and lots of imaginary money to piss about with.
The sky's the limit really.
The problems tend to arise when I want to use imaginary moeny in real life..... (oops).They also had a fairly broad and clear set of objectives.
Stage 1: Everybody goes to New York or Boston (WW2 buffs are welcome to correct me on the logistics so long as they do so politely)
Stage 2: Get on the godam ships, GI's!
Stage 3: Get off the damn ships in Britain, GI's!
Stage 4: Train and/ or sight see/ binge drink.
Stage 5: Invade Nazi Occupied France.
Stage 8: Berlin!
(Any historians will know where stages 6 and 7 went and why the Berlin thing took a bit longer than expected! And look it up yourself, I'm not your teacher!)
So far I have
Stage 1: See about going to New York and possibly a bunch of other places.
Stage 2: Look for flights? (I'm NOT going to Boston, Nevin!)
Stage 3: Eh, where am I going?
Stage 4: Seriously.... where? Just New York? Should I try DC too?
Stage 5: Shit! Hostels! I forgot about hostels! Er, or do I go with Motels?
Stage 6: GET ON THE PLANE DAVE!!!
Stage 7: What?? It can't be July already!! It can't! Oh..... bollocks!! Buggering bollocks fuck!
Stage 8: *cue panic attack*
Stage 9: Fatal dose of disappointment and/or Epic Fail.
I figure if I get the freaking out done and dusted now, I can look across the Nazi drenched battle fields of Europe and start seriously cracking into some planning that would make Operation Overlord and the D-Day landings look like a bunch of idiotic tourists getting razzed and somehow ending up in France.
If I can pull this off I might just be able to claim that I actually can organise a piss up in a brewery. Oh, and crack going to America (possibly solo) and all that jazz...
Incidentally, I'm not going anywhere near a jazz bar.I blame Donal's stories and Nevin's photos and Erin's suggestions for making me want to do something this crazy.
Thanks guys! :)
29 August 2009
23 August 2009
How do you turn this on?
My favourite Age of Empires 2 cheat!
:P
This is going to be random in the extreme and stick to no particular subject, theme, or indeed syntax.
Somebody at work bugs the hell out of me. This is the highly unpleasant Polish girl who is pretty much less than useless as she's knocked up. Now, before I continue: I do not, nor have I ever had a problem with Polish people in Ireland, in fact all the other Polish people I work with are the hardest working and the most professional I've encountered. And they're genuinely cool people too. I also realise that being pregnant, she's likely to be sometimes.... what's the phrase.. "emotionally charged".
I have encountered pregnant women many times, my family continues to grow ever larger, praise God, but I have *never* met anyone so unpleasant, whiny, bitchy, confrontational and downright rude like her.
Everyone at work has had a problem with this particular wretch, I won't even bother typing the name, not just me.
Today I was helping a guy in crutches walk into a screen by holding open the heavy fire doors for him. His leg was strapped up and it was obvious that he was recovering from something seriously painful, so being courteous, I opened the door for him. Two traveller kids flew down the hallway as this was happening, but I didn't have time to react.
Then all of a sudden, I have an irate and incomprehensibly narky person in my face saying I was "such a fool" for "letting them in" and generally treating my like a godam simpleton.
I wasn't going to take this lying down, and after having to deal with the condescending harpie long enough, I told her to get back to the Box Office (which is her permanent post) and that I knew how to do my job, thank you.
I was so pissed off, I have never been spoken to by a colleague like this before. I mentioned this to a supervisor and felt much better when they expressed a similar opinion of this... this!! this jumped up tarty cow!
I felt much, much better when I was told that this isn't the first time she's behaved like an ignorant bitch to her co-workers.
Where I work, everyone gets along- That's not a happy co-incidence, but seems almost policy. I actually enjoy my job because the people I work with are great. It's one of the most laid back and easy going places I've worked, but as a result there is a great team spirit going on.
I cleaned up vomit off the stairs today.
Did it suck? I guess. I didn't really get put out though as I wasn't on my own, the excellent Lais was there too. We did the job together and it got done quickly and efficiently. We also cracked jokes about the sheer volume and spread of it.
Yes, it's gross, but it's also kind of funny... Now that I've disinfected my hands to surgical standards!
All in all, I got to wondering just how inportant morale is in a workplace. I hate to say it, but it was somethiong sadly lacking in my old job.
In the Omniplex, the supervisors (black shirts) and management (whatever they want shirts) provide something the general managers in Blarney seldom did - Leadership.
The supervisors are all a great bunch: They're friendly, approachable, efficient, they know their jobs inside out, and critically: they all have a sense of humour!
That's the most critical thing of all. Stress will melt away at the hilarity of some of the antics that have occured at work... All out of sight of managers (well, mostly!) and customers thankfully!
Otherwise this post would be called I was Fired For Gluing Tom to The Door of Screen 1
;)
:P
This is going to be random in the extreme and stick to no particular subject, theme, or indeed syntax.
Somebody at work bugs the hell out of me. This is the highly unpleasant Polish girl who is pretty much less than useless as she's knocked up. Now, before I continue: I do not, nor have I ever had a problem with Polish people in Ireland, in fact all the other Polish people I work with are the hardest working and the most professional I've encountered. And they're genuinely cool people too. I also realise that being pregnant, she's likely to be sometimes.... what's the phrase.. "emotionally charged".
I have encountered pregnant women many times, my family continues to grow ever larger, praise God, but I have *never* met anyone so unpleasant, whiny, bitchy, confrontational and downright rude like her.
Everyone at work has had a problem with this particular wretch, I won't even bother typing the name, not just me.
Today I was helping a guy in crutches walk into a screen by holding open the heavy fire doors for him. His leg was strapped up and it was obvious that he was recovering from something seriously painful, so being courteous, I opened the door for him. Two traveller kids flew down the hallway as this was happening, but I didn't have time to react.
Then all of a sudden, I have an irate and incomprehensibly narky person in my face saying I was "such a fool" for "letting them in" and generally treating my like a godam simpleton.
I wasn't going to take this lying down, and after having to deal with the condescending harpie long enough, I told her to get back to the Box Office (which is her permanent post) and that I knew how to do my job, thank you.
I was so pissed off, I have never been spoken to by a colleague like this before. I mentioned this to a supervisor and felt much better when they expressed a similar opinion of this... this!! this jumped up tarty cow!
I felt much, much better when I was told that this isn't the first time she's behaved like an ignorant bitch to her co-workers.
Where I work, everyone gets along- That's not a happy co-incidence, but seems almost policy. I actually enjoy my job because the people I work with are great. It's one of the most laid back and easy going places I've worked, but as a result there is a great team spirit going on.
I cleaned up vomit off the stairs today.
Did it suck? I guess. I didn't really get put out though as I wasn't on my own, the excellent Lais was there too. We did the job together and it got done quickly and efficiently. We also cracked jokes about the sheer volume and spread of it.
Yes, it's gross, but it's also kind of funny... Now that I've disinfected my hands to surgical standards!
All in all, I got to wondering just how inportant morale is in a workplace. I hate to say it, but it was somethiong sadly lacking in my old job.
In the Omniplex, the supervisors (black shirts) and management (whatever they want shirts) provide something the general managers in Blarney seldom did - Leadership.
The supervisors are all a great bunch: They're friendly, approachable, efficient, they know their jobs inside out, and critically: they all have a sense of humour!
That's the most critical thing of all. Stress will melt away at the hilarity of some of the antics that have occured at work... All out of sight of managers (well, mostly!) and customers thankfully!
Otherwise this post would be called I was Fired For Gluing Tom to The Door of Screen 1
;)
17 August 2009
Replicants
Early in the 21st Century, The Tyrell Corporation advanced robot evolution into the Nexus phase - a being virtually identical to a human- known as a Replicant.
The Nexus 6 Replicants were superior in strength and agility, and at least equal in intelligence, to the genetic engineers who created them.
Replicants were used Off-world as slave labour, in the hazardous exploration and colonisation of other planets.
After a bloody mutiny by a Nexus 6 combat team in an Off-world colony, Replicants were declared illegal on Earth - under penalty of death.
Special police squads - Blade Runner Units - had orders to shoot to kill, upon detection, any trespassing Replicant.
This was not called execution.
It was called retirement.
(taken from opening crawl of Blade Runner by Ridley Scott)
16 August 2009
Coda
I should point out, for the benefit of those not part of the Prague Expeditionary Force (aka peffff, or the sound Peter makes when poked in the belly) that the reason that Kate and I both exclaimed "Gamelan!" together was because we saw one. When wandering around a very interesting museum with an exhibition devoted entirely to music and the history behind it, we duly ambled one (abominably early) morning into a room about Asian music at Kate's suggestion. We were confronted by what appeared at first glance to be room to be a red and gold explosion of bells, gongs, and various other wonderful bronze things that make a noise.
To the educated eye, however, this was a decent example of a Gamelan, the largest instrument in the world. Also, the most impressive!
According to Kate, though, UCC's own gamelan is of a superior quality.
Of course. That's where all their budget goes....
To the educated eye, however, this was a decent example of a Gamelan, the largest instrument in the world. Also, the most impressive!
According to Kate, though, UCC's own gamelan is of a superior quality.
Of course. That's where all their budget goes....
Getting to know you
I hate the internet.
It has no instruction manual at all- it drives me mad!
maybe it's just because I don't spend every waking minute on a computer and have a secret suspicion of those who do....
Anyway, thank God they made this Bloger thing reasonably user (and by that I mean impatient person who doesn't know or care how half this crap works, I just want to follow my friend's blog god damnit!) friendly.
This blog isn't going to be about smiles and sunshine. If I want to rant, then I'm going to take a deep beath and rant longer, harder and louder than Ranty Angus McRanter, the winner of the National Mad Scottish Ranting Bastard Competition 5 years in a row.
To business.
I love the Prague blog, it's fantastic to see all those painstakingly collected quotes reappear in glorious internet form!
And to think we were going to put it on bebo! *snorting, hooting*
Well done to Anne on her excellent job of typing up and putting up of what shall remain part of a dearly cherished time for me.
Ah... tequila.... I hardly remember thee. Although according to Phil and John I was rather fond of it by the end of the night!
I think that it's fantastic that we can more or less immortalise that time and as a history student, I'm interested in how memories vary, change, mutate even over time.
I can't wait to see bits and pieces of everyone's experience of Prague find their way to the Blog Anne (excellently) set up for us.
Truly, she will forever be the Keeper of the Maroon Copybook of Pragueness.
And we, the raving mad, giddy people who scribbled, (and in Peter's case dribbled) defaced and generally pawedat it when something hysterical was said.
Amazing to think that it only represents a fraction of how much bloody fun the whole week was.
As myself and Kate said in unison one day in a museum:
GAMELAN!
It has no instruction manual at all- it drives me mad!
maybe it's just because I don't spend every waking minute on a computer and have a secret suspicion of those who do....
Anyway, thank God they made this Bloger thing reasonably user (and by that I mean impatient person who doesn't know or care how half this crap works, I just want to follow my friend's blog god damnit!) friendly.
This blog isn't going to be about smiles and sunshine. If I want to rant, then I'm going to take a deep beath and rant longer, harder and louder than Ranty Angus McRanter, the winner of the National Mad Scottish Ranting Bastard Competition 5 years in a row.
To business.
I love the Prague blog, it's fantastic to see all those painstakingly collected quotes reappear in glorious internet form!
And to think we were going to put it on bebo! *snorting, hooting*
Well done to Anne on her excellent job of typing up and putting up of what shall remain part of a dearly cherished time for me.
Ah... tequila.... I hardly remember thee. Although according to Phil and John I was rather fond of it by the end of the night!
I think that it's fantastic that we can more or less immortalise that time and as a history student, I'm interested in how memories vary, change, mutate even over time.
I can't wait to see bits and pieces of everyone's experience of Prague find their way to the Blog Anne (excellently) set up for us.
Truly, she will forever be the Keeper of the Maroon Copybook of Pragueness.
And we, the raving mad, giddy people who scribbled, (and in Peter's case dribbled) defaced and generally pawedat it when something hysterical was said.
Amazing to think that it only represents a fraction of how much bloody fun the whole week was.
As myself and Kate said in unison one day in a museum:
GAMELAN!
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